[ He freezes when he realizes what he had said. He had meant the love he had for all of them but... it was true. He loved Eddie more than just that. He had for years. And it came out that way, too, hadn't it? Fuck. Fuck.

He grips the doorframe tightly, shaking his head again as a shudder runs through his body. He knows he won't be able to stop if they start this. The feelings combined with his body doing what it does (whether he likes it or not), it was a dangerous combination. Too dangerous for him to risk. His forehead falls against the door. ]

No. Go back to your room. Just go. I can--I can find someone else. I won't fuck up your life, Eds. I'm not gonna do that.

[ Because he just knows he will.

The last thing he wanted was Eddie being miserable all because of him and resenting him for it. ]