beavertrap | open rp

❪ nightmares have become so commonplace that they're almost familiar at this point. eddie expects them, falls asleep still dreading them though. it's always the same thing— they're in that cavern below the sewers fighting It. they're scattered, richie gets caught in the deadlights and he spears the bastard through his stupid fucking mouth.

everything should be great now, dandy but it isn't. He's sitting over richie, smiling and laughing and then suddenly there's blood all over richie. his blood. sometimes the nightmares play out as they did in real life: he's thrown down deeper into the cavern, he's bleeding out but sometimes it's different. sometimes the monster rips him in two, sometimes it stabs richie instead, sometimes it stabs both of them. sometimes they all die down there instead of just him.

but he didn't die, did he? no— he's alive, breathing and presently kicking as another dream shocks him awake with a wheezed gasp. He's hyperventilating, literally been scared awake and he's having to fumble in the dark to get the nightstand open and his inhaler out. a few needy breaths in and he dissolves into a fit of coughs which wouldn't be an issue aside from the still healing hole in his chest.

god— he was a fucking mess. ❫

Edited 2019-09-21 06:02 (UTC)

[ It's a combination of the movement and wheezing that wakes Richie up, moving to turn on the light on his side but instead hitting the floor in a loud thump. He still tries his best to flail up onto his feet and turn the lamp on, staring wide-eyed at what he thinks is Eddie's heaving back. Oh yeah, glasses.

As he fumbles to get those on, ]

What is it? Eddie? What's going on?

❪ he's still in the midst of a coughing fit when eddie feels movement on richie's side of the bed. somewhere in the middle of it, he hears a thud but he's nearly bent over from the coughing and the pain it's causing his still healing wound that he can't quite look over.

things were supposed to be better now that he left the hospital, now that they were together but it constantly feels like his own problems were setting things back. ❫

Bad— bad... ❪ he sighs and takes another needy puff of his inhaler, breathing out a wheezed sound. ❫ Shitty fucking dream.

[ Richie breathes out a heavy sigh -- both tired and relieved. Though only so much. Nightmares are still bad for them even on their best nights. He's hoping they will eventually fall away into nothing like that fucking clown did.

He moves over to sit beside Eddie, gently rubbing a hand up and down his back. ]

You're okay. None of that shit's real anymore.

❪ he can't help the way his body hunches up slightly as rich rubs his back, fingers running over the scar there and the main focus on his nightmares on most nights. it only lasts a moment before eddie settles again and leans into rich, sighing. ❫

Yeah, yeah. I'm okay. ❪ he mutters as he's done so many times before. ❫ I'm okay and you're here.

What the fuck, man. Why is this here??

yeah idk what the fuck ur talking about

Edited 2019-10-09 19:38 (UTC)

so this box has nothing to do with you

[ attached is a photo of a box that very clearly has the name of a particular specialty store printed on the side ]

[ It hadn't been until after they returned to the inn, racing to get cleaned up in their respective rooms after the fight with Pennywise, all of them miraculously alive, that Richie starts to feel... something. His head getting foggy, his heart racing. He's feeling flushed as he forces himself to get dressed quickly. He manages to get some pants on before he's fumbling for his phone. He only keeps track of a few things and his ruts are among them.

Fuck, he hisses to himself. It's waaaay too soon.

Why is this happening now?

He's gotta get the fuck away from here. He doesn't know where he'll go but he can't stay here around the others like this. ]

[ They're hurt, and they're all a fucking mess, but they're alive. For once, Eddie doesn't even care how much literal crap is covering him - he's just glad to be back in one piece.

Once he's had a quick shower and changed his clothes, though, he realizes something feels very off. It's not just the missing scar on his hand, either, though that had thoroughly freaked him out. He feels too warm, too agitated, not from adrenaline but from --

Fuck.

He usually takes suppressants to control his heats, but he clearly missed a dose somewhere in between getting his memories back and fighting off a killer clown-thing. He takes a deep breath to steady himself, but instead he's greeted with an overwhelmingly powerful scent, something musky and oddly familiar.

It's stupid, but he can't help following that scent out the door of his room and towards Richie's. His mind is trying to tell him to go back, to lock himself in his room and just deal with it alone the way he always has, but that smell is so... ]

Rich? [ his voice is a little hoarse as he knocks on the door, not quite sure what his goal is here. ] Are you - is everything okay?

[ Richie can smell him before he even knocks on the door and he's shaking his head, clenching his fists to control himself from walking over there, opening that door, and wrenching the other man inside. ]

Fine, Eds. I just--gotta go.

[ It almost hurts when Richie doesn't open the door, and whether that's because of Eddie's heat or his worry for the other man, he honestly isn't sure. ]

Go? [ he echoes, sounding more desperate than he'd like. The thought of that smell - and the Alpha it belongs to - going away without even touching him makes Eddie's omega brain panic. ]

Why? Let me in, okay? I wanna - I need to see you, Richie, please?

[ For fuck's sake, he's begging now? Eddie hates what his biology does to him sometimes. ]

[ The combination of all of it: Eddie's smell, his voice, the pleading. Richie actually does walk over to the door but slams a hand against the frame on his side, it taking everything in him to stop himself. ]

No! Fuck off!

[ God, that makes his own heart twist in his chest. He bites down on his bottom lip, eyes squeezing shut. He wants to cry and scream and throw things. All while wanting to hold the other man down - his best friend - and do what he's never brought himself to really do with anyone else. His voice cracks in a way it hasn't since he was younger and fighting with Bill. ]

I love you, Eds, but I can't do this with you, okay? We can't do this.

[ The bang of Richie's hand against the doorframe makes Eddie jump, but he doesn't run away. Even hearing Richie tell him to fuck off isn't enough to make Eddie force himself away, despite the fact that this is a genuinely terrible idea.

He's fucking married. Not that they ever really mated - Myra's a beta, after all, so it just isn't possible - but still. He made a promise to her, didn't he?

So why does it feel so easy to just forget about her?

Hearing Richie's voice crack draws a soft, pained sound from Eddie's throat, one that's repeated when he hears the other man say I love you. ]

You need it, [ he argues, feeling selfish but forging ahead anyway. ] I can - I can smell you through this fucking door, Rich, okay? And I -

[ He swallows, knowing what he's about to say is wrong, knowing the last two decades with Myra will mean nothing as soon as he gets the words out. ]

- I need you, too. So - please?

[ He freezes when he realizes what he had said. He had meant the love he had for all of them but... it was true. He loved Eddie more than just that. He had for years. And it came out that way, too, hadn't it? Fuck. Fuck.

He grips the doorframe tightly, shaking his head again as a shudder runs through his body. He knows he won't be able to stop if they start this. The feelings combined with his body doing what it does (whether he likes it or not), it was a dangerous combination. Too dangerous for him to risk. His forehead falls against the door. ]

No. Go back to your room. Just go. I can--I can find someone else. I won't fuck up your life, Eds. I'm not gonna do that.

[ Because he just knows he will.

The last thing he wanted was Eddie being miserable all because of him and resenting him for it. ]

[ Eddie's getting to the point where he wants to break the door down just so he can speak to Richie face-to-face. The combination of the other man's scent, his own heat, and the frustration that naturally accompanies any interaction with Richie starts to build to a head, and when Eddie speaks again he's clearly more aggressive. ]

You're not gonna fuck up anything, Richie, for christ's sake --

[ That's a lie, at least in part. Richie isn't the one who'll be fucking things up; Eddie will. Ultimately, he's the one standing here begging for it, and Richie is being a good person - a good friend - and trying to save them both from this foolishness. ]

Look, [ he says, his voice tight with emotion, pressing his own forehead against the door. Richie's so fucking close he can feel it. ] I know you're trying to protect me, Richie, but I want this, okay? I...

[ he takes a breath, then admits a truth he's never really acknowledged out loud before. ]

...I don't want to go back to Myra.

[ Richie's eyes open and he slowly raises his head off of the door. ]

...you don't mean that, Eddie.

[ But his own selfishness wants him to mean it. He doesn't Eddie to be with anyone else. No one could understand him like they do, like Richie does. ]

[ It makes Eddie feel sick, but saying it out loud cements the fact that, yeah, he really doesn't want to go back to his old life. He doesn't want to keep living the way he did as a kid - hounded by an overbearing woman who cares more about controlling him than about his actual wellbeing.

The only people who really, honestly care about him are the ones who fought by his side, the ones inside this inn right now.

The one standing on the other side of this door. ]

I do. [ It's quiet, but there's no doubting how serious he sounds. ] You told me I'm braver than I think, remember? She's never said anything like that to me. She's never...

[ made me feel the way you do, he doesn't finish. ]

Please open the door? I just - I just want to see you, at least, okay?

[ Behind the door, Richie frowns deeply, thinking how wrong that is. Eddie deserved all the encouragement and support he could get. Rich gave him shit, sure. That had always been their relationship. But when it came down to it, they supported each other. Looked out for each other.

Maybe that's why he remained alone this whole time. He had some flings here and there, one-night stands, fuck buddies. But no one ever stayed. No one ever got him the same way.

Being alone was better than being in the kind of marriage Eddie was in. It that understanding that has Rich finally opening the door, even if a voice in the back of his head tells him not to.

He never did manage to get a shirt on, his hair still damp from the shower. His pupils dilated but he manages not to grab at Eddie as he looks at him for the first time since they got back to the inn. As the smell of him hits him full force. He feels like he might just pass out from it. ]

[ The truth is, despite their bickering - hell, maybe even because of it - Richie really is the only person who really understands Eddie. He's the only one who's willing to see past the sickness and vulnerability and believe in Eddie enough to push him out of his comfort zone.

That's what Myra is, really: his comfort zone. She's the kind of "love" he grew up thinking was the only thing he deserved. But remembering his childhood, remembering Richie, made him realize how wrong he was about love.

When the door finally opens he can't help but stare, openmouthed, at the way Richie looks. He's more muscular than Eddie expected, but more than that - the expression on his face is almost enough to make Eddie's knees buckle.

The literal wave of scent that rushes out from Richie's room is enough to make Eddie have to lean against the doorframe a little, embarrassing as it is. There's no hiding the way his face immediately flushes, and when he tries to speak he stumbles over the words a few times. ]

H-Hey - you - uh - [ holy fucking hell, is this really what he's supposed to be feeling right now? He's never gone through a heat unmedicated, not even his first one, thanks to his mom's preventative drug treatments. ] Y-you - you smell amazing.

[ Richie has never thought much about his body. As long as he didn't have a beer gut, he was fine. Which he thankfully managed to avoid despite all his drinking. He was tall and lanky, Eddie still shorter but stockier. His eyes take him in again, very different from the once-over he had given back at the Chinese restaurant. Which felt like an age ago now.

His grip on the doorknob tightens even as he huffs a laugh out, ]

First time you've ever said that to me.

[ He swallows hard, ]

Eddie, I don't think I can keep this door open... Not when you're... doin' all that.

[ Which was everything. ]

[ Maybe it's just the hormones rushing through Eddie's bloodstream that are making Richie suddenly seem about a million times more attractive than usual - but he's got a feeling this isn't just biology.

He manages a weak laugh of his own at the other man's reply, but he's too distracted trying to hold himself upright to really hear him. It's the second thing Richie says that manages to grab his attention, that makes him blink and flush a deeper shade of red. ]

Doing... what? [ he has no idea what Richie is seeing or feeling right now, but what he does know is that he needs to be closer. Way, way closer. So he takes a step forward, crossing the boundary into Richie's room, managing to keep just a few inches between them despite the way his body's urging him to press himself up against the other. ]

Doing... everything.

[ The way Eddie looks, the way his voice is right now, the scent he's giving off, that fucking scent. And then he's all too close and Rich has to force himself to step back. Away from the other man. The Omega his body is yearning for. ]

I don't--she doesn't deserve you, Eddie. She doesn't. But I won't be able to stop this if we...

[ He brings his hands up to his face, rubbing his eyes under his glasses and then his mouth. ]

Are you sure it's me and not just the rut?

[ When Richie steps away Eddie can't fucking help it - he steps forward, keeping the distance between them as minimal as possible. They're inside of Richie's room now, and there really isn't any going back, at least not for Eddie.

Whatever he's expecting Richie to say, it definitely isn't that. Eddie's heart throbs in his chest and there's no way it's because of what his body is doing. Hearing Richie tell him that so plainly, seeing him trying so hard to keep himself in check - it makes Eddie's face crumple. ]

It's you, [ he answers, reaching out to curl his fingers around Richie's wrist, trying to pull his hand away from that gorgeous face. ] It's always been you. I just - I never let myself see it.

[ not to mention his memories being stolen away by an evil entity, but that's besides the point right now. ]

[ Richie doesn't know what to say to that, too in shock to resist Eddie pulling his hand back down. They are words he's waited to hear for so long and never remembered until he came back to this godforsaken town. Eddie's beautiful face and eyes always something he wanted to see, so he kept trying to keep his attention before he even knew what he was doing and why.

Even now, with both of them older, Richie still thinks he's beautiful to look at. His best friend still the same, more willing to be gentle and vulnerable just as quickly as flying off the handle and kicking a demented clown in the face.

He never dared to think those feelings would ever be returned like they are now.

Which all leaves him fucking speechless. Of fucking course. ]

...shit.

[ Ever so eloquent, Tozier. ]

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Pardon the supreme lack of iconssssss I will fix it later

get u some yo

It's on my list of things to do!

that one a/b/o au

♥♥♥

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